don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it's like iHOP with fire
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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