THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
