how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
