Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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