she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
