I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
