I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My dick has a subreddit
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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