How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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