I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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