nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
