How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
