She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
