Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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