she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
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The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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