There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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