I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
