You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
