I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
