I wanna passion pit in your ass
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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