i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
