this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
