yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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