Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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