When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
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Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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