and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
