I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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