Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
