mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
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Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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