there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
