K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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