I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
