I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
