went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm getting married
To pizza
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
