he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
