I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
