dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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