How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
