ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
