you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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