we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
