i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
