She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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