...so i touched it.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
