This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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