I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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