is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
