Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
