am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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