you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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