Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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