my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
