there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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