So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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