omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
