I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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