I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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