Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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