Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
as a side note pls kill me
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize