This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
