i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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